Sees candy

Yesterday, our next door neighbor came over to say goodbye. Our first goodbye so far. She was leaving on vacation, and wouldn't be back before we left.  She brought over a bouquet of 2 dozens roses and a gift certificate.  Her eyes brimmed with tears, and she started to tell us how much she loved us, and how much she would miss us, and how she has loved watching life happen in front of her house the last few years. But then she stopped, and said, "I am not saying good-bye right now, I will come over later tonight and say goodbye then." That was good with me, because I am horrible with good-byes and I knew in my heart that she wasn't going to come back over later. It is totally something I would do too, and probably best for everyone. It sounds kind of lame, but it is so much easier to just slip away in the dark of the night, and then text someone later and say everything you wanted to say before, but couldn't. Good-byes are really, really hard for me.  

The day had been considerably exhausting already, so when she gave us the gift certificate, I realized that dark chocolate was exactly what I needed, but didn't know it, until that very moment. We decided to load up the kids, and make the 20 minute drive to the nearest Sees Candy Store.  I hate to admit this, but in 31 years of living in California, I have never been to a Sees Candy store. Well, perhaps I have, but I was probably a young child, and I just don't remember.  When we pulled up, and walked in, I was immediately in awe.  Now, I am not a big chocolate lover (hence never going to a Sees before), but it was an instant happy when I walked in.

The air was cool, and the place was clean, and the little lady behind the counter was so very, very cute.

She offered us a sample (Oh. My. Word) and proceeded to tell us all about every chocolate behind the very clean glass. My kids eyes were as big as saucers. Ok, my eyes were as big as saucers too.  I started saying things like " How about this one," and "Why don't you throw 5 of those in the box too."

We decided to upgrade our 1lb gift certificate to 2lbs, because it was becoming painfully obvious that 1lb was just not going to cut it.  I contemplated 3 lbs, but that just seemed wrong.  I felt really happy in that store, and for some reason, this kept coming to mind.

Several other customers (weekly customers, I later found out), came in, and we allowed them to pass us. I wasn't going to let anyone rush this experience for me. I was having waaay too much fun.

Noah proceeded to jam his face into an object that was eye height, and he needed rescue, a chocolate sucker to feel better. The girls put their dirty hands all over the clean glass, and made me cringe. They were starting to cramp my style a bit, so we reeled them in, and made our final decisions. By the time we got home and settled in for dinner, my total candy consumption alone was 6 pieces.  I was starting to feel a bit better about the day.

  After we got home, I began to wonder why I had never gone to Sees before. Maybe it was a good thing, because I could totally see myself dropping $17.95 for a pound of chocolate, like, every week.

Ya, probably a good thing I just found this place.

The lady told me, she didn't believe Iowa had Sees.

What?!? Oh, how sad. My relationship with Sees was way too short. Come and gone, just like that.

The sweet Sees lady told me I could have custom boxes shipped to me (oh joy!).

I put that in the back of my mind, just in case.

Later that night, I started to think about leaving home. Not just that there would be no Sees, (sniff sniff), but that we would really never watch the kids play with their best friends, our neighbors, again. They wouldn't run and jump and play house and make up imaginary lands, at least, not with these boys, again.

I mourned at the thought of never seeing where that relationship would have gone. It was a beautiful friendship for the kids, and my relationship with Veronica was like Lucy and Ethel (above).

I remembered all our shenanigans, not the least of which, was Veronica rescuing me from a swarm of bees in my house, with a broom and hair spray. The times that girl came to my rescue can't be counted on all of my fingers and all of my toes combined. At any given time, of any given day, I could have yelled out "Veronica" (just like Lucy would yell, "Ethel!") and she would come running. 

Remember the episode when Lucy was leaving for the country, and Lucy and Ethel cried and cried and cried and cried.

Ya.

Then I started thinking about all of the beautiful, wonderful things that are about to take place for many of my friends. Things that I won't be around to see. Things that I will have to be a part of, from afar.

I thought of the family, and their love, and their distance from here on out, and how much it would all hurt.

I thought about all the good-byes that are going to start occuring now, and all of the tears that would be shed.  It all started to become very real.

I ate another piece of chocolate, and took a deep breath. 

I reminded myself that it was ok to mourn, and ok to grieve for the change that is to come. Nothing new happens without change. And that's ok. 

It's ok to feel excited and sad at the same time.

It's ok to feel prepared, and unprepared, simultaneously.

So tonight, I rest in the fact that I am going to feel all the emotions, and just embrace it for what it is.

A new season.

A season without Sees, and many many other things, but a season full of things to come, unknown to me now.

And that is very, very exciting,.